Health Books

Sex Books Sell Satisfaction

By: Karen S. Peterson, USA TODAY

Despite the perception that we are a nation awash in sexuality, women of all ages, it seems, need more information on how to be sexually satisfied. At least that is the impression one gathers from the spate of new books on women and sex that are just hitting bookstores. Even the women of Gen X, which prides itself on being sexually aggressive in its pursuit of pleasure, need to get a clue, according to the authors. Some of the books quote a famous research finding: About 43% of women have problems with their sex lives.

The volumes intended to reduce that statistic range from advice from sex therapists to a how-to manual from Kim Cattrall, who plays that personification of female libido, Samantha, on HBO's Sex and the City.

The flood of books indicates women are increasingly aware "that sexuality is a woman's birthright, a wonderful part of her life, whether it involves an actual partner or not, whether she is married or single, whether she has had serial marriages or one, whether she is lesbian or straight," and no matter what her age, says Judith Sachs, co-author of Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman's Guide to Becoming Proud, Passionate, and Pleased in Bed. "We want women to be more creative and daring."

Pressure on performance

Even though they are bombarded by sexual messages, it isn't true that "women know everything there is to know about sex," says Hilda Hutcherson, co-director of the New York Center for Human Sexuality at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center and author of What Your Mother Never Told You About S-e-x.

"Most of what women hear and read talks about how to have constant, over-the-top sex," she says. "Having sex then concentrates on performance, as it does with men."

Women also think everyone is having more and better sex than they are, Hutcherson says. "Young, well-educated women will say 'I am not sure if I am having great sex. I don't have the same amount of sex Samantha has.' I spend a lot of time telling women they are normal."

Cattrall of Sex and The City has gotten into the sexual-advice business in Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm. The book, which would probably not have been on Grandma's shelf, is sold shrink-wrapped.

"I come from a history of women not knowing themselves, not being fulfilled sexually, like my mother," she told USA TODAY when the book hit stores in late January. "I wanted to reach out to women and say, 'No one would think that because of the roles I've played, I would have a history like that, but I had it and I don't have it anymore and there's a solution.' "

Just how women in their 20s and early 30s are doing is a matter of some debate. "I really think there is a change," says Sallie Foley, a sex therapist and a co-author of Sex Matters for Women: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self. "There is much more comfort with language about their bodies, more of an attitude that 'this is my body and I am unapologetically going for it.' "

In fact, the sexual patterns of young women are coming to mirror those of young men, says journalist Paula Kamen in Her Way: Young Women Remake the Sexual Revolution. The paperback version of her provocative book is arriving in stores.

Kamen quotes research showing women are catching up to men in their number of partners, in their willingness to experiment and in asserting what they want in bed.

Edward Laumann, a co-author of a definitive study of sexual behavior, the 1994 National Health and Social Life Survey at the University of Chicago, tends to agree. "In general, there has been some convergence in the behaviors of young men and women," he says. "For the first time we are moving to more volatile, less well-defined relationships and greater openness to premarital sexuality."

Laumann cautions against overestimating the impact of the changes, however. "You can overstate these things."

Enjoying it less?

Various authors stress that while young women may be having more sex, at a younger age, and with more people, they may not be enjoying their sex lives more than their older sisters. "You can't deny the changing patterns, but the perception that these changes are being made with a level of sexual comfort is an illusion," says psychologist Dennis Sugrue, president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a co-author of Sex Matters for Women.

"Saying they are more sexually active, that they are feeling free to do it or not, is not synonymous with saying they have comfort, confidence or satisfaction." Sugrue believes "at least 40% of Generation X women have some type of sexual difficulty."

Several of the authors say Gen X women are having dramatic problems being satisfied with the body they bring into the bedroom. "We have moved from the need for corsets to the need for abdominal crunches" in order for young women to feel sexually desirable, Foley says.

"Gen X women have internalized this sense of the body perfect, and that is an impossible ideal," Foley says. "They think if they have a perfect body, they will have better sex, and that shows a profound misunderstanding about sexuality." It is simply not true, she says, that women who have infomercial bodies "are having better sex."

Foley and Sugrue also wonder if Gen X women will keep their high-octane sex lives as they marry, have families and try to keep up the high-powered careers they feel entitled to. "They will get the same 24 hours a day that everybody else gets," Foley says.

Gen X author Kamen replies that while young women "know more (about sex) than any other generation in history, there is still room for improvement. This is still a half-finished sexual revolution."

However, "the fact we are talking about books like this signifies a new attitude, an entitlement about asking questions," that will only grow as Gen X ages, she says. "Look at Cattrall's book on orgasms. It doesn't talk about how to satisfy your man. And we don't have to slink into a store in a trench coat and sunglasses to buy it."

Other Recommended Books

	Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman's Guide to Becoming Proud, Passionate, and Pleased in Bed by Sandra Leiblum and Judith Sachs; Crown, $23.95

	Her Way: Young Women Remake the Sexual Revolution by Paula Kamen; Broadway, $13.95

	Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm by Kim Cattrall and husband Mark Levinson; Warner, $24.95

	Sex Matters for Women: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self by Sallie Foley, Sally Kope and Dennis Sugrue; Guilford, $17.95

	What Your Mother Never Told You About S-e-x by Hilda Hutcherson; Putnam, $27.95

	The Clitoral Truth The World At Your Fingertips by Rebecca Chalker, illustrated by Fish; Seven Stories, $19.95

	Making Love the Way We Used To...or Better by Alan M. Altman, M.D

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